I am a feeling person. I guess you who read my post know this by now. I instantly have a feeling about every thing. Bliss, love, warmth, peace, happiness, joy. I feel it all and it's beautiful. I always feel something. This is a fantastic blessing and I wouldn't want to be without this capacity.
The down side is that I feel all things bad equally strong; horrible news on TV make me feel physically ill so I don't watch the news and stories of people being bullied or treated ill by others make me feel so sad as if it had happen to me. Sure these feelings pass more quickly than the good feelings, sometimes it just a flash of sadness. But still, it's hard to always feel.
Today I felt anger, strong and rushing through my system. I acted on it and talked bad about a waiter to my company, because he didn't act according to my standards. He didn't listen to what I wanted but acted fast and very service minded to do what he thought I wanted. I felt furious. But no, it didn't stop there. The whole afternoon went bad, I missed the train and bought the wrong book in a book series I'm reading. All of this solved it self after I made some phone calls and I got the money back for the train ticket and I can return the book on my next visit to the store. But before this I managed to yell at both my mother and my husband about the universe crappy compliance to my wishes, gaaaah! Well, I asked for forgiveness when I calmed down and got it from them both.
I just wish I could keep my emotions some what more in check.
Dear Har Anand, I know what you're talking about! It's part of the process, the anger, the sadness - yoga and the spiritual learning kicks up a lot of dirt. And it's SO hard not to act on it, sometimes one doesn't even register the anger before it's too late and one is standing there screaming or fuming. :)
ReplyDeleteThe music you sent was GREAT! Thanks yet again. It really was powerful. Seems I hadn't learned the difference between accomplishing and BEING. :D I'm great now. Hope you found your calm too!
Controlling anger and emotions takes practice. The first step is recognizing what is going on and then consciously trying to control your emotions when these situations come up.
ReplyDeleteHaving children is a real test of control of emotions!! In any case I look at these situations as learning experiences so further grow myself. Ultimately we have a choice in how we feel. Often times we like to "soak" in the emotion like we are taking a bath rather then just letting it go.
So, keep up...bring the smile back and take a deep breath and relax! Let it all go... :)
Pimu, I also think this is part of the process and I'm really happy you liked the music "I am" is such a beautiful mantra.
ReplyDeleteGurumustuk, yes it's takes a lot of practice to control your emotions. I think I pretty good at recognizing them but I have to work on just see them and let them go. Your so right in that we choose how we feel. The trick for me is some mantra music and I'm smiling after 1 millisec again. :-)