Monday, August 2, 2010

Kesh, pride and attachment

Went to cut my hair and add some color. Must say I had some mixed feelings about the cutting of hair, I had a pretty big discussion with myself about the kesh-thing, but then I though why try to be some you are not? Sure you are a sikher but not a sikh, and yes you like the hukams and you like the kirtan and you like the meditation but you are not a sikh and what will people think if you start behaving like one? Now afterwards can see Aha! "what will people think", so stupid. But I'm getting ahead of myself, I haven't told you the whole story yet...

I am natural blond, not superblond, but blond hair, bluegray eyes and pale skin, Scandinavian normal I would say. The trimming of the hair went fine, I like my long hair, tried short and never felt comfortable, so I never do more than trim it. But I wanted change, stupid stupid. I normally just do some highlights and colour some hint of gold. But now, and you will hear how silly this is, since I have kept up three 40 day commitment this my first year with kundalini yoga, I wanted to mark the change into something new, preparing for my next 40 days with a new commitment. A commitment of health which I am preparing to be able to start soon. I also wanted to have a more serious style for work, so I thought, together with the hair dresser, chocolate brown.

What can we see here; pride - so stupid to be proud of the three 40 days, I should be grateful(and I am, didn't know I was this proud though)

Anyways, the colour did not get good, I'm kind of golden brown closest to my head and blackish brown in the ends. So I don't look serious for my work and I don't feel this a nice mark for something new and beautiful in life. I keep thinking "What will people think!?! I look like a teenager gone wild with at home hair colour." And, I admit it, I thinking "OK, I was never beautiful but I had beautiful golden hair, I now I look like shit." SHIT!

And so, what can we see here; attachment - I was in no way a better person 3 hours ago as a blond than now a as person with different shades of brown on my head. The colour will fade, the hair will grow and hopefully I will have learned from this.

I want to add that I should have listened to my own little thoughts on kesh and that it might be worth keeping. The fact that I even thought about it, having been cutting my hair a normal rutine for almost 30 years, must mean something. I shouldn't have been so pride to believe I had grown as a person, I just showed myself I haven't and I should definitely stop obsessing over the way my hair looks. There is also the fact that you shouldn't try to be something your are not, well colouring your hair is faking it a bit and I should have seen even thinking about this.

I just had to take a hukam to receive some light upon this ... experience...

Even if one were to enjoy all pleasures, and be master of the entire earth,
O Nanak, all of that is just a disease. Without the Naam, he is dead.

Well, what more is there to say?

I Am Bountiful, Blissful, and Beautiful. Bountiful, Blissful and Beautiful I am.
I sure could use that right now.


  1. You are! You are bountiful, blissful and beatuful! :D
    I'm sure when you've taken stock of your experience you can see the comedy in it - I must say I was smiling when I read it (though I don't want to offend you!!) because of how you described your thoughts before and the result after, it was like a little piece of cosmic comedy... boy do I have those moments too! I think we are overly attached to "what will people think" in our part of the world. And guess what - everybody else of those "people" is thinking the same thing! I hope you got your money back from the hairdresser, they should fix it for you for free or something if the work didn't turn out right. Much Love!

  2. No offence taken, I was smiling a bit when I wrote the post... :-) And it is a bit funny how we fool ourselves into doing things.The hairdresser fixed the colour today, light brown haired now instead and only half the usual price for a cut and colour, so I do not feel cheated in any way.

  3. Yay! Then you just had a wonderful adventure, becoming wiser and closer to living your truth. :D

  4. Saranpreet Kaur Ji.. i had the same feeling when i was reading the post~~ lol :P

    Har Anand Kaur Ji.. that is very nice of the hairdresser to actually fix it back :)
    About the 'Aha' moment ~ its really true, as its becoming a norm to actually fool ourselves all the time just because we are worried *what will people think*.. it happened quite a lot of times to me too but I think I am getting a grip to myself already and decide on what I want and what I feel instead of others ;P

    Finally hanji I agree with Saranpreet Kaur Ji that~
    *You are bountiful, blissful and beautiful spiritually and i am sure physically too!*

  5. I am also a spiritual seeker like you and hope we can share some notes. thanks
    harjit (Melbourne)

  6. Hi Harjit! Always nice to see more seekers. :-) Please take a look at my links to others blogger, on the right side of this blog. There are a lot of seekers out, and it's very inspirational to read about others journey.