I am natural blond, not superblond, but blond hair, bluegray eyes and pale skin, Scandinavian normal I would say. The trimming of the hair went fine, I like my long hair, tried short and never felt comfortable, so I never do more than trim it. But I wanted change, stupid stupid. I normally just do some highlights and colour some hint of gold. But now, and you will hear how silly this is, since I have kept up three 40 day commitment this my first year with kundalini yoga, I wanted to mark the change into something new, preparing for my next 40 days with a new commitment. A commitment of health which I am preparing to be able to start soon. I also wanted to have a more serious style for work, so I thought, together with the hair dresser, chocolate brown.
What can we see here; pride - so stupid to be proud of the three 40 days, I should be grateful(and I am, didn't know I was this proud though)
Anyways, the colour did not get good, I'm kind of golden brown closest to my head and blackish brown in the ends. So I don't look serious for my work and I don't feel this a nice mark for something new and beautiful in life. I keep thinking "What will people think!?! I look like a teenager gone wild with at home hair colour." And, I admit it, I thinking "OK, I was never beautiful but I had beautiful golden hair, I now I look like shit." SHIT!
And so, what can we see here; attachment - I was in no way a better person 3 hours ago as a blond than now a as person with different shades of brown on my head. The colour will fade, the hair will grow and hopefully I will have learned from this.
I want to add that I should have listened to my own little thoughts on kesh and that it might be worth keeping. The fact that I even thought about it, having been cutting my hair a normal rutine for almost 30 years, must mean something. I shouldn't have been so pride to believe I had grown as a person, I just showed myself I haven't and I should definitely stop obsessing over the way my hair looks. There is also the fact that you shouldn't try to be something your are not, well colouring your hair is faking it a bit and I should have seen even thinking about this.
I just had to take a hukam to receive some light upon this ... experience...
Even if one were to enjoy all pleasures, and be master of the entire earth,
O Nanak, all of that is just a disease. Without the Naam, he is dead.
Well, what more is there to say?
I Am Bountiful, Blissful, and Beautiful. Bountiful, Blissful and Beautiful I am.I sure could use that right now.