This was supposed to be a gratitude blog and even though I don't always write on the topic, I hope that the general message of this blog is that we have all a reason to be grateful and I am, always.
One year ago I was so stressed out and unhappy. I felt trapped in life, even though I had it all, so many things going for me. Happily married, nice job, new house... I still have all this but also something more... I had just found kirtan and started feeling curious about the sikh faith. So much lovely kirtan just around the next bend...
I had never tried kundalini yoga, can you believe it? I hardly can't, what a journey this last year have been. How far I have come and how much more that lies ahead to explore. Amazing!
And sikhi...I love it, I have pondered so much and some many times; when are you a sikh? This week, on monday when I started to write on the outlines of this post, it hit me: I think I am one, I am sikh. My eyes teared up as I was smiling, and it is the same now, as I write these words. I find myself smiling most of the times now, that is the big difference. I am so grateful, I have all that had one year ago and this, I feel surrounded by the love from the universe. I am not one to jump into something on a whim, but this is different, this has always been heartfelt from the first lines of gurbani I read. My first hukam, I took it in May 2010,said:
ik oa(n)kaar sath naam karathaa purakh nirabho niravair akaal moorath ajoonee saibha(n) gur prasaadhIs this beautiful or what? How amazing is it that my first hukam was this? I am in love...
One Universal Creator God. Truth Is The Name. Creative Being Personified. No Fear. No Hatred. Image Of The Undying. Beyond Birth. Self-Existent. By Guru's Grace
But don't be fooled, I don't wear a turban (ok, sometimes at home), I don't leave all my hairs alone (but a lot of it is as it was created though, I have thought a lot of the concept of kesh), I don't own a wooden comb, I don't have kachera or a kirpan. But I do have a kara and I wear it every day and I have done since it became mine in December. But I am, as I'm sure you understand, not a baptised sikh. I am a newbie-sikh! I am so proud, happy and just amazed of it all. And grateful,so grateful I don't know where to start...
Maybe it is hard to understand, and not a big deal for anyone but me, but for me this is huge. I feel like this is a big birthday gift, I give myself the gift of having faith, of being a sikh.
I so hope no one takes offence of this post, if I got something wrong.
Love and life,