Longing like crazy

Longing for spiritual inspiration, like crazy but still I am filled with hope. I know I will receive, the true Guru will send me a message and I will be filled with joy. But for now, I am pining and yearning...

You might think I am righteous, good and going straight on the path to becoming a sikh. But will share with you; I fight the five thieves every day and give in to them every day. Kam, krodh, lobh, moh and ahankar. I wanted to tell which one who is the biggest thief right now in my life but no one is bigger then the other. They are a gang of bandits always after me, and every day they get me.

kam (Lust)
krodh (Rage or uncontrolled anger)
lobh (Greed)
moh (Attachment or emotional attachment)
ahankar (ego)

But the bandits leader must be ahankar since it is my ego that makes me feel so ashamed that I can't be a better... person.

And still, this love for the guru's shabad. Cyber-hukam now (and you won't believe which hukam I got, but it's true):

Engrossed in unfulfilled sexual desire, unresolved anger and greed, you shall be consigned to reincarnation.

Nonbelievers, I am no longer one of you. But I must say, I am still pining, longing, hoping, yearning for an uplifting message of joy and I still know it we be given to me.

And so comes the next line of the cyber-hukam:

But I have entered the Sanctuary of the Purifier of sinners. O Nanak, I know that I shall be saved.

Love is all,