Thursday, April 29, 2010

Change

After my 40 days, I've been feeling a bit low. At first I couldn't really say what went wrong. I have got a new kundalini yoga and meditation set for my sadhana, but I haven't started yet. I been doing my old set, I've been keeping up, but blaming lack of time for my laziness not to start with the new set.

I feel disappointed in myself for not taking the time to start the new set and that is probably why I'm feeling low. I also think it's really ungrateful of me to ask my teacher for a new set and then not do it. He has put time and effort on this, and I will not?

All change is hard, and I'm afraid that, well this is really stupid, I will not like the new sadhana because it will be hard since it's new and then I'll have trouble keeping up. But life isn't easy and I like the way sadhana makes me feel.

I'm making my self a promise: The next set I do will be the new one.

5 comments:

  1. Keep up! Keep going. This is natural to have highs and lows. What is important is that you keep going. Sometimes your practice may slow and you might slack a bit, don't be hard on yourself or feel guilty. These things are just tools to lift you up and help you. Sometimes when I am in a hard space and not able to do my practice I feel down....but not out of guilt but I really do feel the difference in my mind and body. Do it because it makes you feel good and brightens your day, not out of obligation.

    As with any spiritual path there will be challenge and change and all you can do is just go through it. This chiseling is what makes you a better person. Like the coal which becomes a diamond from all the pressure.

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  2. Hi,
    When one recites mantra, initially it is mainly a physical exercise - muscle movement, breathing, control of speech; after a while one overcomes this sensation and it then becomes a mental exercise - mental thought, action, check result & repeat; but eventually it becomes a spiritual exercise; this is when the nectar starts to flow.

    So relax; think of the love the Creator has for you and start again keeping that beautiful thought in your mind. Dedicate your soul, mind and body for your love. The blessings are not far away but are you up to the mark? Yes, surely you are; it time to do this slowly with the mind tuned to the vibrations.

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  3. Gurumustuk:
    You and my kundalini teacher have so much in common. He just told me that if you have a hard time during sadhana it's a blessing because it allows you to grow. I don't do my sadhana out of obligation, I love how it makes me feel, but it's always easier to take the easy way, and that I have to work with. Thank you for your support!

    Hari:
    I really love to recite mantra, I love the way the vibration feels. Time just flies by and love flows all around you. But as you say, when you are a beginner it's a lot of physical and mental exercise. I don't know how far I have come, but the vibration is fantastic. :-)
    Thank you for your comment!

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  4. Kwl M gnna try n do some mantra for 40 days and evaluate my emotions. I hope it will help and I keep up with the practice since i am very lazy.

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  5. Anonymous:
    I wish you the best of luck with your practice. Just decide to do it and keep up!

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