Friday, July 30, 2010


Arguements, they fill my chest with physical pain. Once again I was involved in a family argument about political views, on human rights. I am just sad for all of it, even though I couldn't let the racist comments and prejudice slip by, not in my own house. In this house that is not allowed, it can never be. I am so sad and my chest is filled with pain, just the same place where I sometimes can feel my soul vibrate during meditation. How can a person be like that, a racist and how can I come from that? And how can you love someone like that? I don't, I should but I don't and it is shameful.

I usually can feel the universal love, see good in all, forgive, be the greater person but now? At least I manage to expel the family member from my house with less heated feelings from my part then usual. My voice relatively cool, no tears and even a smile. "Not in my house, it is time for you to go now." Fortunately, or unfortunately, an other relative called us all back and told us that we have to be able to disagree. Under a tense atmosphere we talked about travels memories, but I believe this tension between and the family member is going to be, well not good perhaps never good again ever.

And now when I have written this the pain isn't that hard to bare. We can not change anyone else, just ourselves and I really do not want any racist talk in my house and that is that. I'm sorry if this sounds hard, but I am almost 30 years old and I have to be my own person now.

My cyber hukam
Abandoning the world of beauty, and beautiful clothes, one must depart.
He obtains the rewards of his good and bad deeds.
He may issue whatever commands he wishes, but he shall have to take to the narrow path hereafter.
He goes to hell naked, and he looks hideous then.
He regrets the sins he committed.
tells me that we all can only take responsibility for our own lives. I don't really understand these lines but I will regret my sins and be rewarded for my good deeds, you for yours and my relatives for theirs.

Your insight and comments on this post are very welcome,


  1. I can very much relate to what you're writing about, I come from homofobic and racist people and I do understand their views (why they think the things they do) but I won't let them make me listen and I have long since stopped arguing back. I just tell them I won't stand for it and that I will not discuss such matters with them. It's hard though, especially if those people are very close family. And you don't need to love their behavior. You can find things to love in them in other situations, I'm sure you see some good traits in them too, right? To be able to disagree is different from letting someone voice their judging. We can agree to disagree and drop the subject. If the person insists on discussing the subject then I think you really did the right thing by asking them to leave. Good for you. But I know it hurts.

  2. Thank you Saranpreet, I really appreciate you sharing your story. And thank you for your encouragement.