Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A hard, hard day

It has been one of those days when I wonder, "What is the points of all this..." Rush, rush, hurry, hurry, I have nothing to do at work but still I have to be there. It feels so pointless to spend so many hours traveling to accomplish nothing. And still I am not doing my hours... I said in a comment some day ago that there was a lot of work, but the work isn't in the workplace it's getting there... I feel I have no time left, just like in this spring when I decided to do yoga and meditation every day.

I have no time... or, more accurately I don't spend the time I have on the right stuff. I feel more and more that I want to have my own company so I can decide for myself when and how much I want to work. And yes I know the hardships of being your own, my father has only work in his own business as far as I know. But what will I do and can I survive and thrive on it?

My hukam told me today, I think, to be true to myself and the universal force of love. I admit very openly interpreted but the hukam I think should be a person message and what I see in it is the truth, for me.

Bestowing Your Mercy, God, You attach us to Your Name; all peace comes by Your Will.
The Lord is Ever-present; one who deems Him to be far away, dies again and again, repenting.

How do you think hukam should be interpreted, to the letter or more open?
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4 comments:

  1. AnonymousAugust 19, 2010 at 9:47 AM

    Start and the pressure will be off. Every time you feel that anxiety about not having time, do something that proves you are making a difference in your day, even if it's just for two minutes.
    Work towards being your own boss! In that context I would interpret your hukam as an incouragement. If you align with your bliss, do what you really love and make a difference in people's lives through that (which you automatically will) then you are taking steps towards God - and not deeming him that far away. If you truly believe that hapiness and success is possible in your work life also, then it will be so. :)

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  2. Har Anand KaurAugust 19, 2010 at 6:33 PM

    Thank you for your encouraging words! I'll try that just doing the thng I think I don't have the time for just for as long as I have. So many times I have though "aah, it's not worth starting doing that 'cause I only have half an hour..."

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  3. UnknownAugust 20, 2010 at 4:25 AM

    Har Anand Kaur Ji... whatever you have mentioned in this post is exactly what I am feeling for the past few months... and while reading I actually felt something...
    Told myself NO this cant go on longer..I have to change myself.. even if I am only given 5minutes to do anything.. I WILL DO IT..
    Thanks to Saranpreet Kaur Ji too, whatever has been said is so true!!!

    Thank you again =)

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  4. AnonymousAugust 20, 2010 at 10:21 AM

    Thank you too Pearljeet Ji and HarAnand Ji - it's great to see that there are so many of us sharing the same issues, I feel more determined and focused just by reading your thoughts!

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